take your interval

If you find yourself feeling less crowded lately, there’s a reason. Incarceration rates have almost tripled in the past three decades, resulting in one out of every one hundred Americans finding themselves behind bars, according to a study released by the Pew Center on the States and summarized here.

That’s right, the land of the free has nearly eight times as many prisoners as Germany. I wonder if Americans just aren’t good people relative to the rest of the world, or if it’s simply a case of more laws making more criminals? Either way, I’d be interested in a study of the economic trade-off between having the criminal on the street (assuming most of those incarcerated have earned it) versus productive citizens paying for his/her absence from society out of their own pocket.  A thief can only rob so many houses, right?

From the Billboard Liberation Front (click to see images):

AT&T initially downplayed its heroic efforts in the War on Terror, preferring to serve in silence behind the scenes. “But then we realized we had a PR win on our hands,” noted AT&T V.P. of Homeland Security James Croppy. “Not only were we helping NSA cut through the cumbersome red tape of the FISA system, we were also helping our customers by handing over their e-mails and phone records to the government. Modern life is so hectic – who has time to cc the feds on every message? It’s a great example of how we anticipate our customers’ needs and act on them. And, it should be pointed out, we offered this service free of charge.”

Commenting on the action, and responding to questions about pending privacy litigation and the stalled Congressional effort to shield the telecoms from these lawsuits, NSA spokesperson [REDACTED] remarked: “[REDACTED] we [REDACTED] condone [REDACTED] warrantless [REDACTED], [REDACTED] SIGINT intercepts, [REDACTED] torture [REDACTED] information retrieval by [REDACTED] means necessary.”

“It’s a win-win-win situation,” noted the BLF’s DeCoverly. “NSA gets the data it needs to keep America safe, telecom customers get free services, and AT&T makes a fortune. That kind of cooperation between the public and private sectors should serve as a model to all of us, and a harbinger of things to come.”

-BLF

Well, it was only a matter of time before the government got it hands on the internet, although, as usual, they’re doing it with the best of intentions. In this case, the broadband ISPs are to blame. Rather than admit to consumers that their ‘all-you-can-eat’ business model never took into account the fact that internet users don’t get full, some ISPs have been sneaking behind consumers’ backs to limit which foods we’re allowed to eat.

Breaking out of bad metaphors, Comcast, specifically, has been throttling down P2P file sharing applications without informing its customers that their ‘unlimited access’ to the internet is anything but. Back to the metaphor (I like it, okay?), it’s like ordering the buffet, but finding out after the fact that you’re only allowed to eat certain amounts of certain foods.

Just be honest with your customer. If you can’t handle the bandwidth demanded by your consumers, say so. Whether you use pricing to regulate demand or control the supply, just be up front with your customers. That way, we can avoid governmental toll booths on the information superhighway (another great metaphor).

By now, I’m sure everyone knows about the ‘attack’ article published in the New York Times. To my cynical eyes, however, it looks more like a preemptive strike in support of McCain. Keeping in mind that the paper has endorsed McCain…

The Times made two allegations with that story. One is a potentially meaningful one involving Washington corruption, the other a meaningless one about McCain’s personal life. Guess which one’s getting the most attention?

By sitting on the story until the Republican nomination is essentially secure but releasing it before the national election gets underway, they’ve insulated McCain from having a political opponent break the story, which would be far more damaging, and by citing only anonymous sources, neither story has fangs and only serves to strengthen his position as people predictably start shouting ‘liberal media!’ It’s like magic, if magic was maliciously and horribly destructive to America.

If you ever feel like you may have lost your sense of self, your moral compass, that perhaps you need some sort of parental figure to exercise judgment over what you experience, never fear, the FCC is here!

The FCC has come down hard yet again on violence, perhaps in response to the recent school shootings. Wait, scratch that, they’re coming down hard on butt cheeks. That’s right, butt cheeks. ABC is facing a fine of $2.5 billion per hour (conversion always puts things in perspective) for a brief flash of ham hock on a recent episode of NYPD Blue. Now, I’m not sure what horrors they think butt cheeks are responsible for (I bet terrorists have butt cheeks!), but I for one am relieved that I’m being protected from them.

Now, my stance is no government censorship, let the market decide what it wants to watch. If parents want to censor what their kids watch (and they should), the V-chip is a simple, built-in solution that’s far more effective than an isolated entity in D.C. handing down decrees about what we, as ‘free’ citizens, are allowed to watch.

Here’s some background on current FCC chairman Kevin Martin. Apparently, he’s living up to the expectations President Bush had when appointing him. Seriously, is there any government agency that the President doesn’t wield power over?